


A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

by Johnlocked221b



Category: Hemlock Grove
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depressing, Fluff and Angst, Immortality, M/M, Married Life, Nadia is Roman and Peter's daughter, Sad Ending, The sad reality of an upir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnlocked221b/pseuds/Johnlocked221b
Summary: Roman doesn’t realize that he’s going to lose Peter until they’re in their 30’s.





	A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

Roman doesn’t realize that he’s going to lose Peter until they’re in their 30’s. Roman is still as beautiful as the day he turned 18, fresh-faced with a lithe body and wide, unwrinkled eyes.

 

“Happy Father’s Day, sir,” The waitress says with a sweet smile. She means well and Peter sort of snorts as Roman wonders what the hell she means.

 

Peter’s not a dad, at least not that she knows. So that means…she thinks…

 

“Oh…heh…no. He’s my husband. Will be.” Roman says it proudly, taking in the sight of her embarrassment.

 

“Oh! Please excuse me. You just look so young. No judgement though.”

 

Before Roman can retort with something about her minding her own fucking business, Peter cuts in. “We get that a lot, don’t worry about it.”

 

Roman smiles tightly and then returns his gaze to the food in front of him. He’s lost his appetite, mind working quickly.

 

If Peter grows older, one day he’ll grow right out of his body and he’ll leave Roman again.

 

**

 

“You _knew_?” Roman cries out, hurt. “And you didn’t tell _me_?”

 

“I didn’t think it was important.” Peter shrugs, though it’s clear on his lined face that he feels differently now, especially given how much it’s seemed to upset Roman. “I thought we’d figure it out…cross that bridge when we came to it.”

 

“So what, I’m stuck like this forever and you…you’re gonna grow old on me and d-” He can’t say the word. Can’t bear it. He just swallows a lump and blinks like he’s got something in his eyes.

 

His Godfrey bottle green eyes meet Peter’s. “What about the wolf thing?”

 

“What about it?”

 

“Doesn’t that mean something?” He’s pacing.

 

“Not in terms of mortality…or immortality.” Peter says. His voice is quiet. Guilty. He doesn’t want to leave Roman any more than Roman wants him to leave.

 

Roman runs his fingers through his hair and paces faster. It does nothing to ease the panic building behind his eyes.

 

“What about Pryce?” Roman asks, lifting a hand. Peter notices it shaking.

 

“What _about_ Pryce?” Peter repeats the question.

 

“What if he can do something?”

 

“What, like creating a Lazarus Pit?” Peter seems amused by this. Roman is not, and Peter’s smile fades.

 

“Look, I just think we should enjoy the time that we have instead of stressing about what comes after.” Peter shrugs.

 

Roman sits beside him with a sigh and then buries his face in Peter’s neck. He hopes that he never forgets this smell. “Okay…” He whispers.

 

**

 

Roman can’t stop thinking about it.

 

He obsesses over everything. He’s got Pryce working on ways to extend the life of living cells, enforce their walls and stop the effects of time. It’s taking forever and the longer it takes, the more stressed Roman becomes.

 

They’re running out of time, after all. In the grand scheme of things, their time together will be just a blip. Roman will live hundreds of years – perhaps thousands – after Peter is gone.

 

He is most afraid of forgetting his voice.

 

**

 

Retirement is bittersweet. On one hand, they can spend more of their days with each other, but on the other, Peter is starting to ache. He’s got white hairs growing among the others, all over his body. His face has lines on it, branching from his eyes and dipping into his forehead.

 

Roman kisses these lines when they lie in their bed and tells him he’s just as beautiful as they day he met him. He’s not as freaked out by old people as he used to be. The love of his life is one of them, after all.

 

Peter nearly cries when he has to schedule an appointment for testosterone pills. He worries that he’s not satisfying Roman the way he wants to. Roman assures him that he still greatly enjoys making love to him.

 

Nadia asks why her Papa looks like a grandpa while Daddy still looks like Daddy. Roman doesn’t know what to say. Peter explains that he’s just got an old soul.

 

He realizes that his daughter is also going to live forever. Well, at least Roman won’t be alone.

 

**

 

On Roman’s 80th birthday, Peter has a heart attack. He’s put on several medications and sent home with a strict diet for lowering his cholesterol; the bane of a Rumancek’s existence. He tells Roman that he’s okay over and over.

 

Roman still bristles when the doctor tells him to keep an eye on his “grandfather”.

 

They share stale cake, flip through photos of Nadia and her family, and then Peter is asleep by nine, resting against Roman’s shoulder where he belongs.

 

Roman drapes a blanket over the old man and kisses his forehead. He rests his own there and closes his eyes, listening to the sound of Peter’s breathing. Tears roll down his cheeks. He’d almost lost him tonight. Roman doesn’t remember ever being so terrified.

 

**

 

Peter is nearing 95 when Pryce reveals that he’s done it. The gene therapy he’s invented cannot reverse the effects of time, but it _can_ stop it. Peter will never have to die.

 

Peter is, of course, reluctant. Roman helps his husband into the tower and Nadia comes along. While he’s lying on the table, he reveals that he’s decided not to go through with the gene therapy.

 

Roman slams the door on his way out and Nadia strokes the back of her Papa’s soft hand. “He’s just scared.” She explains. “He doesn’t want to lose you.”

 

“He never did.”

 

**

 

They’re curled up together in bed, even though Peter’s joints almost always hurt when he lays like this. Roman kisses him all over his face and tells him he loves him again and again. Peter laughs and Roman falls in love all over again. He falls asleep listening to the the in and out's of Peter’s breaths, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

 

The next morning, Peter’s chest is still.

 

**

 

Roman’s eyes are dry as they lower Peter into the ground, but only because he doesn’t have any more tears to give. He stands, surrounded by Godfrey’s; his daughter, three grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren. The youngest holds onto his pant leg, sniffling and holding onto a plush wolf that her great-grandpa had given her just a week before he passed.

 

After everyone goes back to their cars and Nadia kisses his cheek, he lingers. He watches as dirt is shoveled over the ornately carved wood of a coffin, shoulders square and strong. He knows that his heart is being buried as well.

 

The tent is taken down and that beautiful, blown up photo of his husband is handed back to him. He holds it until his knuckles turn white, lingering at Peter’s headstone.

 

 **Rumancek – Godfrey**  
Peter                   Roman  
1995 – 2096

“Shee-it.” He whispers. “Shee-it, Peter. You fucking asshole.” He takes in a shaking, crackling breath. “Fuck you for this…fuck you for making me fall in love with you and then leaving me again. I love you so much, you dick. I love you, Peter, I love you.”

 

He kisses the top of the stone wolf’s head and then walks away, leaving his home in the cemetery.

**Author's Note:**

> Yoooo I am so sorry about this. It's something that has been on my mind for a while. I just had to get it out.


End file.
